Comedy Central CUT the punchline on the North
Platte joke. Sure there was plenty of funny before the punchline
but I KNOW I sound like a raving lunatic on the show, because
my justification/rationalization had been cut.
Hear me out - a version of the joke is on my Late Friday set on the
AV page.
Listen to the entire joke, or read the North Platte Local Paper article
for the whole story.
In May of 2003, I received the
following email, "I'm a newspaper
reporter from North Platte, Nebraska.
A reader saw your stand-up act on Comedy Central Presents and took
issue with your portrayal of North Platte.
We want to do an
article about you."
The article ran and I received
many emails. Most were along the lines of , "yeah, it sucks here,
but... f* off."
And that seems just. Who hasn't supported something that you know
sucks.
Hell, if flag t-shirts keep up, I'm getting one
that has the flag on it and the slogan, "I'm with stupid."
But a couple people will Never
understand how jokes
work. sigh:
"I was wondering, did you alert the authorities about the battered
woman?
If he mistook you for someone else then didn't that mean there was
actually a battered woman setting in a truck somewhere?
It is a sad statement if you didn't and now are using her misfortune
to further your career." LDF
She just asked me to take her name off my website, which is fine.
But - get this: on every email - it was her work
email address.
So... full name, company name, phone number, fax number, address.
What a maroon.
And, with the recent grumpiness, there was more well-written advice.
10/28/2003 (I've culled from the
8 emails I received from her in three days - grammer and spelling
errors are all hers).
"I watched you "joke" and hope that you realize that
there are thing that should never be joked about."
Here's my theory on the things you can't joke about: There are none.
You can joke about anything. It better be Funny...
but you can try. Granted, all jokes are not for everyone, and it could
be you being led
off by Florida police for "lewd behavior."
But, it turns out that proofreading is not for everyone either. We
all make mistakes, but I mock things for a living!
C'mon, spellcheck!
She continues, "North Platte may suck
and it may be the worst place on earth.
However, do you know that one out of every four women is battered?
Domestic Violence is nothing to joke about.
I hope that you never have to experience the reality of this American
epidemic. Just remember that every bit of dirt that you throw
at us make you lose a little ground." Good lord, LDF stich it
onto a sampler, don't write it to me.
"I was really concerned about the battered
woman, having been one myself." Okay, sucker punch - but it falls
flat cuz...
Who hasn't been beaten? She just gave out the stats, and, when you
get out of it - you HAVE to laugh.
Get the hell out, but then laugh!
And I counter with a quote from Helen Keller
(whom, if you can't take inspiration from, yer made of stone)
"The world is full of suffering, it is also full of overcoming
it."
My response to LDF?: I will get your name off
my website if you STOP writing to me.
I am now mocking YOU in particular on stage. Reading your humorless
words on stage.
So... stop writing to me and you will stop being "material."
I am forwarding your emails to your local paper so that they, too,
can laugh.
And she continues: "I will contact an
attorney if you continue." People, please note: I have
nothing.
I respond: Talk about being part of the problem... litigation? Then
LDF: "Got your attention, didn't I?
A little slow to catch on, aren't you? Actually, I have listened to
your material and enjoy some of it. Keep the laughs going.
Good luck." So, she threatens, then is nice. I never said she
couldn't be nice... but, again, my job is to mock.
And she kept lobbing them at me. She continues: "By the way --
you might like to know that
the Golden Spike (AKA "Golden Shaft") only exists on paper.
The money went "bye-bye" somewhere." LDF
See, North Platte, you live in a petrie dish
- You could be an example to us all!
Though... I dunno if commemorating government swag and dead irish/chinese
immigrants is worth a giant phallus.
(I could be wrong, maybe there's no BAD time for a giant phallus).
Then...
From NP, that same day, I get an email from a woman asking when I
was coming back to NP.
What? to be chased like Frankenstein with pitchforks and fire? I think
not.
And that email, ladies and gentlemen,
was from LDF's co-worker (who also used her work address to email
me).
Is there something in the water, North Platte? How
hard is it to create a yahoo address?
I'll say it again: comedy is exaggeration,
and it could have been any number of towns that I've performed it,
but NP won out.
Rejoice in that! But if you need revenge, hate MY hometown.
Oh... and feel free to buy some SM
Rocket Wear and defile it.
Keep em comin' folks,
E ME DIRECTLY.
